your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
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