my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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