I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
