You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Randomize
