There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
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