Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
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