it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
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