we have pet lesbian snakes
yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
Dignity is for republicans.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
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