Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Panties = found
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