ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
bring money and cleavage
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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