dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
