covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
I wish i was in the wii world.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
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