i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
