Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
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