My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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