On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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