I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
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