just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Everyone says I win the strip club
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
Randomize