I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
