Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
Randomize
