Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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