Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Randomize
