3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
