she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Randomize
