You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
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