I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
im six kinds of drunk right now
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
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