Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Randomize
