Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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