You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
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