R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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