my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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