Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Randomize
