tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
