I showed him my bush... on skype.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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