areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
my poor anus
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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