Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
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