I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
should my penis look like a turkey
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
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