If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Randomize
