he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
i dont even know how to be here
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
