I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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