If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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