shes about as inviting as chlamydia
I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
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