Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Randomize
