Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
Randomize
