the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
