yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
Buhtt sex?
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Randomize
