i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
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