Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
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