Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Randomize
