Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Randomize
