Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
No...this little piggys going to the bar
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
