It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize