bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
