Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Randomize
