There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
