who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Randomize
