I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
