ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
