So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Randomize
