I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Randomize
