and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
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