I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize