just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
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