I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
