You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize