this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize